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Revdep-rebuild with /var symlink
Gentoo's revdep-rebuild command does not work if you have /var as a symlink. I had this setup so that I could use a directory on a different filesystem as /var (/ is an SSD, and I didn't want the write load on /var wearing it out), and I don't know why it isn't allowed. The solution I found is on a forum I can't actually read, but there's enough that I can understand to fix the problem.
The solution is to not use a symlink but instead mount the directory using the bind option. As mentioned in the link, I just added this line to my /etc/fstab:
{{{/storage/var /var none bind 0 0}}}
That did the trick.